Forgiving One Another

 

Forgiving One Another 

Lesson Text: Matthew 18:21-35 

Related Scriptures: Luke 6:27-38; 17:1- 

TIME: A.D. 29 PLACE: Capernaum 

GOLDEN TEXT—“Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?” (Matthew 18:32-33). 

Introduction 

While all the principles for living included in God’s Word are important, the principle of forgiveness is one of the most rewarding. It is also one of the most difficult for many people to put into practice, maybe because of the have-it-your-way philosophy of the culture we live in. We are repeatedly told that we have the right to experience all the pleasure we can get and that no one has the right to reach into our area of enjoyment and diminish it in any way whatsoever. We live in an extremely self-centered society. 

Abraham Lincoln was once asked how he was going to treat the rebellious Southerners after they were finally defeated and returned to the Union. Although the questioner expected an indication of revenge, Lincoln is said to have answered, “I will treat them as if they had never been away.” Archibald Hart is quoted as defining forgiveness as “surrendering my right to hurt you for hurting me.” These two quotes capture the essence of true forgiveness. It is a willingness not to get even with someone who has hurt us. 

LESSON OUTLINE 

THE SERVANT FORGIVEN—Matt. 18:21-27 

THE SERVANT UNFORGIVING—Matt. 18:28-35 

Exposition: Verse by Verse 

THE SERVANT FORGIVEN 

MATT. 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 

22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. 

23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. 

24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. 

25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. 

26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 

27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. 

Seeking guidance (Matt. 18:21-22). {Jesus had just finished telling the disciples how believers are to handle someone who has sinned against them. Peter had a logical follow-up question: How often are we required to forgive a person who repeatedly sins against us?}Q1 In suggesting seven times, Peter was actually being generous, for the rabbis taught that a person should forgive someone who has sinned against him up to three times. They apparently based this on the repeated phrase about three transgressions found in Amos 1 and 2. 

{It is important to note that Peter was asking about a relationship between believers. This is evident from the term “my brother” (Matt. 18:21).}Q2 In the family of God, it is extremely important that we get along and not allow offenses to separate us from one another. Grudges should not be part of our lifestyle, even though they are quite prominent in the social, political, and business world, where most people are determined to look out for themselves. 

“Forgiving our sinning brothers and sisters is a part of our duty toward God’s children, just as it is our duty to pursue them for restoration to righteousness. To fail to forgive fellow believers is to abuse God’s children, and so incur the Father’s wrath. Forgiveness is a foundational characteristic of the family of God” (Weber, Matthew, Broadman and Holman). {It is not surprising, then, that Jesus responded to Peter as He did. Jesus’ answer did not mean we should count up to 490 offenses! He was teaching that forgiveness should go on endlessly, no matter how many times we are offended.}Q3 A child of God should never carry a grudge against another child of God or, for that matter, against anyone else. This can be more difficult when unsaved friends or family members hurt us badly. 

Settling accounts (Matt. 18:23-24). Jesus then told a parable to illustrate how those in His kingdom should handle forgiveness. He told of a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants, perhaps provincial governors who owed the king money from taxation. The man brought before him owed ten thousand talents, which in our economy would amount to millions of dollars. A denarius was a day’s pay, and a talent equaled six thousand denarii. This was an impossible amount to repay. 

This man found himself in a hopeless position. Whether this was the result of poor administration or dishonesty does not really make any difference at this point. The fact is he faced a debt he had no way to pay, and yet his master was demanding to have the account settled right then. {The concept of debt can be applied to offenses because when we find ourselves offended by someone, we feel the person owes us something to make up for it.}Q4 In our minds he owes us a debt of some sort, if only an apology. 

It is this feeling that another person owes us something that we must deal with. The concept of forgiveness includes willingly canceling anything owed to us. When someone has offended us or hurt us deeply, our part in the matter is to not withhold a willingness to forgive and a loving, forgiving spirit. If the other person asks forgiveness, we should immediately grant it; but it is also true that if that person never does ask for our forgiveness, we should forgive him in our hearts for what he has done. 

There are times when we feel the debt is enormous. How does a daughter, for example, forgive her father’s sexual abuse? How does one forgive a spouse’s marital infidelity? 

Releasing debts (Matt. 18:25-27). When it was realized that the king’s servant would not be able to pay his debt, the king ordered that he, his wife, his children, and all his property be sold and the money used to settle part of the debt. It does not take much calculation to realize that even with all this, it would be impossible to come anywhere near settling such a huge debt. The servant fell down before his master, begging for an extension of time and promising to pay it all off, but it was a totally unrealistic request. 

As the king listened to his servant’s pleas, he was moved with compassion. In the most amazing move he could possibly make, the king forgave his servant the entire debt and released him from the obligation of paying any of it back. {No doubt Jesus purposely used such a huge amount of debt in His parable to clearly demonstrate the greatness of God’s forgiveness of our sins. There is no humanly possible means of paying the Father what we owe because of our sins.}Q5 He is holy, while we are unholy and sinful. In ourselves we have no way of bridging the enormous gap of unholiness that separates us from God. If He were to leave everything (or anything) up to us, we would be hopelessly lost for all eternity, with no hope of salvation and heaven. God, in His mercy and grace, provided a means for us that does not depend on our own ability. In the death of His Son, Jesus, He provided the payment for our sins. Our trust in Christ as personal Saviour is all God requires. When we receive Him, we are forgiven and released from the entire debt. 

The release that the king gave his servant was astonishing, but even more so is the salvation we receive in Jesus Christ. We are saved simply because of His great grace. 

THE SERVANT UNFORGIVING 28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. 

29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 

30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. 

31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. 

32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: 

33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? 

34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. 

35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses. 

Demanding payment (Matt. 18:28-29). The opening word “but” lets us know there is a contrast coming with what has gone before. The situation here is similar to the previous one in that it involves a creditor and a debtor; however, the man who had been forgiven his debt by the king responded very differently to a man who owed him money. One of his fellow servants owed him one hundred denarii. This would amount to a little over three months’ wages, which was no small sum. It was minuscule, however, compared to what he had been forgiven. 

Proverbs 22:7 says, “The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.” It is never good to be in debt, because to a degree indebtedness puts us under the control of the one we owe. Sadly, our society has made it very easy to get caught in indebtedness through the use of credit cards. As a result, many are so deeply in debt that they will need years to get free of it. This is not the primary teaching of this parable, but it does serve as an indirect warning to us about these dangers. 

{The first servant treated his fellow servant roughly and thoughtlessly. He took him by the throat, apparently choking him, and demanding payment of what was owed him. Just as this man had done before the king, his fellow servant fell down before him, pleading for time and promising to repay everything. Everything the first servant did indicated a completely merciless attitude—difficult to understand in light of the mercy he had just received.}Q6 

{We must keep in mind that this is a parable, not an actual incident. The Lord purposely set up an immense contrast in order to make His point. We must also keep in mind that in a parable, not every detail demands an application. Rather, we should look for the central message being communicated by the Lord.}Q7 

Reporting injustice (Matt. 18:30-31). The merciless attitude of the first servant caused him to ignore the pleading of his fellow servant. He had him thrown into prison until he could repay everything. It is difficult to see any purpose in this action beyond cruelty, for as long as the man was in prison, it would be difficult if not impossible to earn the money to repay his debt! It is clear that the attitude of the first servant is paramount to the lesson Jesus was teaching. Even though he had been forgiven, he would not forgive. 

Although the man had a legal right to have his fellow servant put in prison, his action infuriated and grieved the other servants. They went to the master and reported everything that had happened. 

Remember that we do not need to make application of every detail of a parable and here is an example. Jesus was not teaching that we should tattle to God every time we see another believer doing something wrong. God already knows all about it, and our place in His family is not to resemble that of a police officer. We can, however, talk with God about injustices that grieve us. 

Jesus clearly was emphasizing the unforgiving attitude of the man who had himself been forgiven. The contrast is so vast that it would seem unlikely that such a thing could ever really happen. That might be exactly what Jesus was teaching: surely no believer who has been forgiven for all his sins would ever dare to be so unforgiving of others. 

Confronting inequity (Matt. 18:32-33). {Once again the first servant was called into the presence of his master, the king, who was very angry about what he had heard. While he had shown great mercy toward this servant, the servant had responded by being angry, bitter, unforgiving, and compassionless toward a fellow servant.}Q8 Since the master in Jesus’ parable was being portrayed in the role of God, surely this teaches us that our Master is deeply affected when our attitude toward other believers resembles this attitude. 

One of the greatest blemishes on Christianity today is church fights. What a devastating testimony we give to the world when we cannot get along as fellow believers in the Lord Jesus! There will often be differences of opinions among church members, but it is possible to defer to others instead of demanding our own way, and it is possible to spend time in discussion and prayer that lead to resolutions that protect the unity of the body of Christ. How the church must grieve the Father when we, as His children, portray a fractured body in the eyes of those who are not part of His family! The master confronted his servant by calling him wicked and reminding him of the great debt he had been forgiven. He then asked this pointed question: “Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow- servant, even as I had pity on thee?” (vs. 33). {It is clear that Jesus expects His followers, who have been forgiven, to be forgiving. The basis of our forgiving others is the forgiveness we have already received ourselves.}Q9 

“We tend to forget our king’s grace, often refusing to forgive even the most trifling of offenses against us. Such behavior among God’s family is infantile. It is time for us to grow up! When we refuse to forgive our brothers, we hold punishment over their heads, and they are affected by our decision. But the person who is truly imprisoned is the one who refuses to forgive. Long-term bitterness is a grinding burden” (Weber). 

Teaching forgiveness (Matt. 18:34-35). The master immediately had the first servant thrown into prison. Jesus summarized by saying, “So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.” What Jesus seems to be saying here is that someone who truly knows what it means to have his enormous debt of sin forgiven will manifest a spirit of forgiveness himself. There is cause for self-examination here. 

Jesus said there would be consequences for having an unforgiving spirit. We should take this to heart. Envision Him looking into the faces of His hearers and pressing upon them the importance of individual responsibility in this matter. He had answered Peter’s question clearly: a child of God has been completely forgiven of all his sin and should be willing, in turn, to forgive repeatedly those who offend or hurt him. 

{Ephesians 4:32 states the principle by which each of God’s children should live: “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” This would be a good time for each of us to examine our heart and be certain that there is no spirit of bitterness or unwillingness to forgive. This is especially important if there has been a long-standing hurt or grudge from which we need emotional and spiritual healing.}Q10 —Keith E. Eggert.

Union Gospel Press, Union Gospel Press. Bible Expositor and Illuminator (pp. 269-278). Union Gospel Press. Kindle Edition.